The following vort, short teaching, was delivered by Jodie Zisow-McClean on Tuesday September 7 2021/1 Tishrei 5782.
In this time of reflection and teshuvah, as we return to Elul and face another winter in a pandemic, I am proud that I HAVE managed to hold on to bright sunflower-colored JOY, even in the darkest, scariest times of winter 5781. I’m a Baltimore City Public School Teacher, finally committing to a career in education, now at the start of my 3rd year. Our building closed March 13, 2020, and the rest of my experience teaching has been mostly here on Zoom. Last school year I taught to mostly blank screens, while working absurdly long hours to prepare. I’m a GenX’er who literally didn’t know what a Google Classroom even was before.
I spent time getting to know my students, who are mostly Black with different backgrounds from me- a white Jew raised in solidly middle and upper class Pikesville. I didn’t push too much Spanish language content, but instead spent time letting students talk and vent. I made space for us to discuss current events in our country- fascism, the elections, police killings of Black people... even though I know I didn’t always “get it perfectly right.” All of this was not normal, and we shouldn’t allow it to be.
My 8th grade students are somewhere between big kidhood and adolescence. They still need to play and have fun, as we all do. Each day I got up, put on a professional top and comfy yoga pants. Each day I took a deep breath, and put on a hopeful face, while remaining honest and vulnerable about my feelings as a parent of a precious, young/ unvaccinated child. It’s a delicate balance, and I think I danced it pretty well for my students. We listened to music in Spanish, played games, and told stories together. They taught me how to play Among Us at the end of a week where (as the kids say) I just couldn't even.…
Like many of us tender souls, who care about and work for justice... I deal with depression and anxiety, pretty well treated these days with meds, plus what I have learned I must do at least most days to care for myself. Every fall, I do some extra work to build up my reserves, as the days get shorter. Pre-pandemic I would go out to an 80’s dance party for a fix of sweaty raucousness, without even wearing a mask! For now, my dance parties are here at home with one of my favorite dance buddies, Miriam, and sometimes Sam if we can drag them in. These smaller dance parties are joyful, but I miss that BIG dance party energy more than I can say.
I am grateful that during the late summer harvest, my sweet little family has an abundance. We happily share with neighbors and friends, the purple heirloom tomatoes currently crowding our window sills. Earlier this afternoon, we dropped off ripe tomatoes and a bunch of sunflowers from our yard, to a fellow Teacher-Mama who is very sick due to Covid, and who thanks to our union, has paid Leave to stay home for the next 10 days.
We must not close our eyes to the pain of the world. Brutal injustice exists at the same time as we live our lives. Joy is a powerful and unlimited natural resource that we must continually cultivate, individually and as a community. As Rebecca Solnit says, “Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a fine initial act of insurrection.”
Shanah tova! Wishing all a sweet, healthy and joyful new year.