The following is a playlist for the 5780 High Holy Days from Rebbetzin Ever Hanna
We Shall Be Known — MaMuse + Thrive Choir
Ok fam, here we go. This is an intense season and a long ride.
We’ll need some reassurance that we’re doing the right thing, that we’re going to be held by those we love, and that abounding love abides. MaMuse is ready to give it to you.
We kick off our playlist with this sweet sing-along opener suited for this time of turning, returning, and taking stock of our lives and our relationships.
A reminder that ahavat olam, an eternal love, is the root of our work, this song sets the stage for a season filled with tender care, deep reflection, and sacred community.
As the sweet voices of MaMuse and Thrive Choir tell us:
“We shall be known by the company we keep,
by the ones who circle round to tend these fires.
We shall known by the ones who sow and reap
the seeds of change alive from deep within the Earth.
It is time now, it is time now that we thrive.
It is time we lead ourselves into the well.
It is time now, and what a time to be alive.
In this great turning we shall learn to lead in love,
In this great turning we shall learn to lead in love.”
The High Holiday season is long, hard, and filled with intense work. Let’s not forget that it is time for us to thrive and that ahavat olam can lead the way.Open Heart — Worriers
You might be feeling a little vulnerable this holiday season, dear reader, and that’s ok. The Worriers are here to remind you that your presence and work is valuable even if you’re weary, you’re hurting, and you feel you’re here by the skin of your teeth.
They sing:
“Tension and care, making do on my own
If you can't be prepared, gotta live and let go
The notion you learn from the hurt beneath your feet
The feeling I'm here by the skin of my teeth
The people I've been and the proving scars
I've gone through life with an open heart”
Relax into this time and tend to that open heart of yours. Say thank you to the versions of you that came before, the choices you’ve made to protect yourself and keep yourself safe, and the scars you may still working on healing from.
All that you’ve been through has brought you to this place. The world benefits immeasurably from the stories you tell and from that big, open heart of yours.Truths — Oh Pep!
Here is the truth: you’re going to have to tell a lot of truths this season. Truths about yourself, truths about your choices, truths about your relationships.
If you’re anything like me, you might find yourself struggling to put words to the places you’ve missed the mark or feel as if you aren’t “doing it right.”
Perhaps you’re struggling to admit that a person in your life or a choice that you’ve made is not healthy for you.
Maybe you’re working on being kind to yourself and need a reminder that though this time is meant for taking stock of your life, it is not meant to give you license to characterize yourself as “bad” or “evil.” All we can do is evaluate, tell the truth, and re-evaluate.
As Oh Pep says:
“There's a page that we all write in
It's not good and it's not bad but it's like this
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That's what my line says
Not once no but re-evaluate tomorrow
And every other day
Re-evaluate”
Oh Pep is here to model confession for us (“I know that I am mean to you”), and to remind us that truth-telling doesn’t have to mean making a value judgment about ourselves or others. There’s something to be gained in admitting shortcomings, wrongdoings, and places we wish we had made a different choice. There’s power in telling the truth about how we’ve been harmed — to ourselves, to G-d, to our community.
The High Holidays are a journey to truth-telling and self-reflection. Be gentle with yourself, you deserve kindness and mercy, too.Mistake — Middle Kids
Yom Kippur, the day of atonement is an intense one. Being present before yourself, your community, and G-d and admitting that you’ve made mistakes is brave and vulnerable.
The experience of dredging up some past harm, some deep sadness is exhausting and difficult. We do this not only personally, but communally by reciting the viddui, a prayer of confession. This moment of group confession is deeply personal and frighteningly public. The viddui calls on us to be present before G-d and our community and take ownership of all of the harms committed — whether or not we committed them. It asks us to cast our memories back over the last year, the last few years, a lifetime, and account for our mistakes.
Something that you’ve done, something that you didn’t do, or something that you wish you had done might be heavy on your heart this holiday season. Showing up and saying so to G-d, or the universe, or the community at large is one way that we seek to make it okay. Middle Kids capture this bare, vulnerable feeling in the sing-along chorus: “You’re standing out in the rain tonight like you’ve got something to say to G-d. You’ve got a debt to pay back from something you did way back.”
Turn it up, shout it out, and start the process of teshuvah: returning and repairing.Recite Remorse — Waxahatchee
Our work of taking stock of where we’ve missed the mark or caused harm doesn’t start at Yom Kippur, or even Rosh Hashanah. Judaism, in its infinite wisdom, gives us time to prepare for the season and start the work of reflecting on ourselves and our lives far before we’re asked to show up and confess our shortcomings. Elul (the ever-reflective last month before the new year) and Selichot (the collection of penitential prayers we say leading up to the high holidays) are two tools that our tradition gifts us to support us in doing the work of returning.
These tools help us tone and flex the muscle of atonement. Much like participating in a marathon without engaging in any training, engaging in the intense spiritual work of the chaggim (holidays) without warming up is ill-advised and a great way to get hurt. Easing into this season by practicing reflection, confession, and repair prepare us to endure this season of atoning.
So, this Elul, give yourself some time to warm up. Say Selichot, write, read, listen to music, take walks, attend services, have conversations with loved ones, and recite lines of remorse.
When the time comes to do it on the highest of high holy days, you’ll be ready.Somewhere a Judge — Hop Along
G-d is complicated, y’all. We each have our own personal, unique, fraught relationship with G-d, with repenting, and likely with the idea that Yom Kippur is a day of judgement.
“Judgement?!” you might ask, incredulous. Yes, it’s messy, difficult, and may not be totally in line with your theology, but G-d as a judge is right there in the liturgy.
The idea that somewhere, a judge might be stretching themselves out on “fine tropical sand” pleased with the decisions they’ve made may be absurd, comforting, or maddening. All of those feelings are valid, and are somehow all captured in this upbeat, jangly ditty about Arkansas’ decision to speed up executions of people on death row before the state’s drugs expired.
There’s a lot to repent for, a lot to wail and mourn about, and a lot of complexity and confusion in it all. It’s ok to feel good, bad, or indifferent to the day of judgement. Wrestling with G-d, or our litugy’s ideas about G-d, is an incredible Jewish tradition that these holidays serve up to us on a platter.
Take heart, dear G-d wrestlers that you are one in a long line of ancestors who have felt these same conflicting feelings for centuries. Bring as much of yourself as you can and do what you need to do to make it through. B’ezrat Hashem (with G-d’s help), you’ll get to wrestle with all of these contradictions and questions again next year.Work To Do — Marc Cohn + The Blind Boys of Alabama
With all of this talk of remembering, facing ourselves and our relationships and our choices, and doing the hard task of making Teshuva with those we love it’s sometimes nice to have a reminder that we all still have work to do.
This easy little song backed by the inimitable Blind Boys of Alabama can serve as that reminder — an intention for this season of work. May we settle into the truth that we’re all just doing our trying to figure out how to to be our best selves, and the knowledge even after the dust settles on the High Holidays there will still be work to do.Incantation — Moses Sumney
Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh, adonai tzavyaot, melo khol ha-aretz kevodo
Holy, holy, holy, Lord of hosts, full of his honor is the land
This incredibly beautiful song by Ghaniaan/Californian artist Moses Sumney gives us a moment to pause and invoke protection from the angels — Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, and Raphael.
We all need guidance, protection, and support, especially when we’re looking at our most tender parts. As we plunge further into the intense experience of the high holidays, let us not forget to seek comfort from the people and places we hold dear.wake up next to g-d — Oso Oso
This upbeat, poppy jam jolts us back into our playlist with a whiny chorus about not understanding what a relationship, person, or interaction means. “I’m feeling cynical, it all feels so subliminal,” Oso oso yell-sings.
If slow, contemplative songs about the angels aren’t your speed, perhaps you’ll find some solace in driving drumbeats and a wailing guitar riff. Buried in all of that is a little gem about self-love and the truth that figuring out what to make of tough or confusing relationships is easier when you know yourself.
If you’re feeling cynical, confused, or unsure of how to engage in this time of turning you’re in good company. The holidays are certainly about external relationships and repair but can also be about returning to ourselves or perhaps even getting to know and love ourselves for the first time.
When Oso Oso sings “Lord knows I want to wake up next to G-d” they could very well be hoping to wake up with a better understanding of self and deeper self love. Or they could just be talking about reciting the birkot hashachar (morning blessings). Either way, I’m here for it.Fallingwater — Maggie Rogers
Sometimes an experience, a choice, a relationship takes everything out of you. Sometimes giving your best, or trying your hardest can’t save a sinking ship. Sometimes darkness takes over, sometimes it just won’t work, sometimes the hardest decisions are the right ones.
We make thousands of choices over the course of a year, thousands more over a lifetime. In this season, we might feel the immense weight of those choices, the deep exhaustion, the burdensome sorrow. We might realize over the course of this time of taking stock that we need to give some things up or shift our approach or give in to the current instead of fighting it.
During Rosh Hashanah we engage in Tashlich, a casting off of sins or remorse, or things too heavy to bear. We gather by a body of water and take time to contemplate, remember, and let go. Throwing our heaviest weights, our deepest regrets into the water and watching the current carry them away can bring us a sweet release: water washes us clean and makes us new.
This new year, may we know when to fight and know when to give up. May we give ourselves the gift of letting go or saying, “enough.” May we be like falling water, taking the path of least resistance and carving out new pathways along the way.Faith — Bon Iver
Oh, faith. What an immense, complicated, and beautiful word. You might feel like you don’t have any faith, like faith is a mystery, or like faith is the thing that keeps you going. During this time that calls on us to try to find faith or to lean on a faith we know, it can be hard to find the time or the headspace or just the right words.
Bon Iver’s sweet song holds the complexity of faith. It beautifully captures that feeling of connectedness and clarity that can be so wonderful and so fleeting. The jangly guitar, the layered vocals, and that epic drumbeat make this song ebb and flow like the experience of faith itself. After the build to a dramatic bridge, the song slows down and dissipates in true Bon Iver fashion with these perfectly high holidays lyrics:
“I know it's lonely in the dark
And this year’s a visitor
And we have to know that faith declines
I'm not all out of mine”
May we find and come to know faith, connectedness, and clarity this season and in all of our days.Nonbeliever — Lucy Dacus
We’ve got songs about faith and G-d, for sure, but we’ve also got to have a song for the nonbelievers. Flippant title aside, this tune about watching someone you love skip town and burn all of their bridges is a perfect addition to our playlist.
The high holidays are a time of endings, a time of leaving, a time to change scenery. Sometimes you have to buy a one-way ticket out of wherever you are and never look back. Sometimes you have to leave everything you know behind in order to find yourself, to make your own home. Sometimes you realize that the future you imagined for yourself can’t be found where you are, so you go.
You throw your books into the river. You tell your Mom that you’re a nonbeliever.
We take stock, we take leave, we try again. In this holy season, may we find ourselves able to leave -- physically or metaphorically -- whatever it is that’s holding us back or slowing our growth, and allow ourselves to get free and get to know our true selves.Motion Sickness — Phoebe Bridgers
“I have emotional motion sickness, somebody roll the windows down”
The high holiday season is a long, exhausting, emotionally taxing time. This season puts us through our paces, bringing us from our highest highs to our lowest lows and back again many times over.
At this point in the playlist, we’ve already explored the power of teshuvah, the pain of leaving a home you once knew, the mysteries of faith and G-d, the complexity of remorse and judgment, and the importance of truth-telling. We’ve been reflective and proactive, whole and broken, and we’re not done yet.
You too, dear listener, may have emotional motion sickness. Phoebe Bridgers is here to affirm that for you and remind us to roll the proverbial windows down. Things are heavy, teshuvah is hard, looking inward is exhausting.
Don’t forget to roll those windows down: take a walk, spend time with friends, blast some music, eat some apples and honey. Don’t let yourself get all bogged down in the hard work of this season, remember that there’s light here, too.Heaven Help Me — Lizzo
“HEAVEN, HELP ME
IF LOVE AIN'T DEAD, I'MA KILL IT 'CAUSE IT'S KILLIN' ME
OOH, CAN I GET AN AMEN?”Trabajador Trabajadora — Las Cafeteras
During the High Holidays, we talk a lot about work, hard work. Here’s a song for the workers, the ones out there grinding every day to make good, to make it work, and to make ends meet. To those who are feeling rushed, feeling frantic, feeling like there’s no time to breathe, thank you. Thank you for your labor. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for being present and for giving of yourself.
I’ll let Las Cafeteras say the rest:
“From cooks, waiters, and bakers for our daily bread
To TAs, Assistants, and those teaching special Ed
Bus drivers, getting us to work on time
DJs, breakers, writers, and MCs who rhyme
Students with two jobs hitting those books at night
And the organizers, bringing us together to fight
The little ones, doing their chores and homework
And all those under and unemployed looking for work
Factory workers, migrants from distant lands
South central farmers, teaching us to work with the land
Construction workers building up the world with their hands
These days time passes faster than the quickest of sands
From peace workers and sweat-shop, street vendors on each block
Spiritual leaders and sweats hot, heat cleanses like detox
Those working against addiction, fighting against eviction
The culture workers, musicians, and artists on a mission
To transform our community with care and conviction
To single parents making miracles each week
And to our elders for the truth and the courage you speak
To ancestors whose hard work paved the way
And to everyone who's out there doing labor today
To my indigenous people and our creator too
We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you
So thank you”Make a Change — Nahko and Medicine for the People + Zella Day
Ok team, here’s the Yom Kippur pump-up song you didn’t know you needed but absolutely do. Native musician, poet, and activist Nahko Bear has some powerful words of wisdom for those of us going through a time of deep reflection and transformation. This is one of those songs that is so perfect for this season that it’s surprising it wasn’t written just for this purpose.
Nahko’s unique voice paired with the sweet refrain sung by Zella Day tell a story of intention, introspection, and resolve.
Zella Day sings:
“If I make it out alive, I’ll come out on the other side
If the sacrifice I owe is the reason that I die
And I know this too shall pass, so I put it in the past
And of all the things I fear, it isn’t now and it isn’t here
I’ll make a change”
May we be sealed in the book of life and may we all feel inspired to make a change.ZORA — Jamila Woods
We’re coming to the end of our list, and it’s time to make a soft landing. Jamila Woods prepares the way with her song “ZORA,” named after Zora Neale Hurston. Written from Hurston’s perspective, this song is about being different, breaking the mold, and living your truth. It’s about distancing yourself from those who only want to criticize you, and centering yourself in your own life. It’s about refusing to shrink or live in fear.
As we consider the places we’ve been and the things that have happened to us over the past year, we may recognize the places where someone has harmed us: where we’re owed teshuvah. In a perfect world, those who owe us teshuvah would seek us out and make teshuvah with us, and everyone involved would be able to continue to build and grow a healthy relationship having made a sturdy and lasting repair.
But this, my friends, is not a perfect world.
Teshuvah is not always made. Or attempted. Or possible. Or wanted at all. Repair isn’t always possible, and sometimes engaging in the work of repair and opening ourselves up to the vulnerability it requires would make us unsafe. These harms, these relationships may feel especially tender at this time of year. It can feel impossible to do the healing work, the self-work, and this deep heart work when we’re hurting so deeply.
So this song is for those who hurt us and will never try to make Teshuvah. It’s for those who we can’t and won’t make teshuvah with because we’re choosing to prioritize ourselves and our safety.
We sing to those people:
“I will never know I will never know everything, everything
You will never know everything, everything
And you don't know me, couldn't possibly”
And if you’re ready, if you’re in a place where you can, tenderly fill your enemies with white light. If not, remind them that you’re all out of F’s to give.Ketchum, ID — Boygenius
Home: the place, the feeling, the idea, is heavy on our hearts this holiday season. As Jews, we often identified with not having a permanent and lasting home. As historical wanderers, a people who perpetually leave, a sense of un-rootedness is often our birthright.
Home is a big word and a big feeling that many of us search for over and over in our lifetimes. Especially at this time of year, when we’re reflecting back and charging forward, when we’re taking stock of all of the trappings of our lives, we might find ourselves feeling a bit unmoored. Add on top of that the changing of the season, the lessening of the light, and the creeping chill of winter and you’ve got a recipe for loneliness.
Our friends in the dynamic supergroup Boygenius understand that feeling of wandering.
They sing:
“I am never anywhere, anywhere I go
When I’m home, I’m never there long enough to know”
This year, may we find a kind of home wherever we are, and may we get to visit the places that seem most like home to us often.Everything is Everything — Ms. Lauryn Hill
Ms. Lauryn Hill is here to remind us: gam zeh ya'avor, this too shall pass.
If you’re feeling low, feeling tired, feeling drained: gam zeh ya'avor.
If you’re feeling high, feeling settled, feeling rested: gam zeh ya'avor.
If you’re scared, defeated, and can’t find hope in this broken world: gam zeh ya'avor.
“Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually.”Till the End of Days — Bermuda Triangle
We’ve sang, we’ve prayed, we’ve held silence.
We’ve taken stock, we’ve taken a good, hard look, we’ve taken time.
We’ve soared to the hills, tromped in the streams, and dug in the dirt.
We’ve been skeptics and believers, we’ve had emotional motion sickness, we’ve been up and down and every which way.
And now, it’s time to let the sun set, let the gates close, and forge bravely forward into this bright, new year.
So here’s to you. Here’s to the work you’ve done and all that’s left to do. Here’s to beautiful community, the smiling faces of the ones we love, the joyful noise of a dear one’s belly laugh.
Here’s to finding a moment’s rest, a steady hand, a deep breath. Here’s to seeing slices of the world to come in our day to day lives. Here’s to connection, to rootedness, and to a deep and abounding love.
“Maybe heaven, maybe heaven, maybe heaven exists
For the way you look at me at moments like this
Maybe heaven, maybe heaven, maybe heaven exists
For the way that your hands feel till
the end of days, till the end of days
You'll be with me till the end of days”
Here’s to the year ahead.